Boredom is a depressive state of addiction without a reward and in the absence of happiness.
I have been there…
Your dopamine receptors want to be gently stimulated and tickled so that you are motivated and you can get a benefit from the actions you like.
It is this slow kind of action in intimate connection with yourself and others that releases oxytocin.
This is what I would call play and fun, pleasure and joy. There is a feeling “where everything is good as it is, you don’t need or want anything more.
You reach a state of contentment.
Now imagine you are in a state of anxiety and stress and you need a quick solution to relieve the stress, and you return to the same action and use the goal to relieve your stress by getting a reward and feeling better. If you succeed, you get into a state of “this feels good, I want more of this” and pave the way to addiction.
The more successful you are, the more you develop a tolerance.
Fear and anxiety release the stress hormone cortisol.
Cortisol combined with dopamine reward and satisfaction inhibits the neurotransmitter serotonin, which is responsible for feelings of happiness and satisfaction.
Now, if you overstimulate your dopamine receptors because your arousal keeps building up from a stress-relief reward, your dopamine receptors will degrade and slowly die, meaning you need more and more stimulation and feel less and less satisfaction.
This is called being addicted.
I have worked with thousands of people who, when faced with slow pleasurable actions in intimate proximity that would naturally release oxytocin and create satisfaction, can feel nothing but numbness or boredom.
Most of these people have a constant dopamine addiction that they achieve by continuously consuming , smoking, alcohol, coffee, internet, gambling, shopping, sugar and junk food. They need this to keep the level of gratification and reward high enough to remain functional in the face of daily stress.
Just enough to inhibit the release of serotonin and avoid the feeling of satisfaction.
In an intimate relationship, the only goal that matters is the satisfaction of a reward. If they go the oxytocin route and start to feel, the amount of dopamine needed for the thrill or fix is not released because, unfortunately, the dopamine receptors have already died from overstimulation.
The amount of serotonin released in this state is just good enough to feel boredom or the pain of isolation and the lack of happiness and satisfaction of a nurturing connection to self and others.
Do you need support? Click here —> How to reset you reward system & achive contentment
